I don’t know that this is really an account of a victory, small or otherwise, on my part or just one
of the many goofisms which comprise the overwhelming majority of my daily business. Nonetheless it
stuck out in my mind as being representative of what our life is like together. So, to set the scene, Kaley
and I went camping with the McNeals and we were sitting around roasting marshmallows over a tiny
charcoal grill. We were roasting them over a grill because fires were banned, so was swimming. This
camp ground didn’t allow camp fires or swimming. Sounds like a lot of fun, right? Well, jokes on you Bass
River Camp Ground, it was.
So the rest goes like this:
Kaley: Honey, would you get me a marshmallow?
Zach: Sure. (disappears)
Kaley: blah blah blah
Kevin McNeal: Blah blah blah movies blah blah blah
Rachael McNeal: Blah blah blah my hair is red blah blah blah
Zach: (returns after some time with no marshmallow)
Kaley: Where’s my marshmallow, honey?
Zach: (puzzled with dawning realization) Oh, I was standing at the table thinking, and then I realized
there was a marshmallow in my hand. I figured I must have wanted it. So, I ate it.
True story. I would argue that it counts as a small victory because my wife has to live with stuff like that all the time, and I got a marshmallow. If you're wondering if my wife ever got her marshmallow, then you obviously don't know her or her indomitable will when it comes to getting what she wants.
Have you ever worked with ALL women? Working with only women is dangerous. Everyone is catty and someone is always pissed at the world. On the other hand, everyone is very understanding. Well, almost everyone.
Today was no good. The entire time I was being trained by this one woman. She's one of those people who have a way of making you feel like a big idiot (which I know I'm not so the whole time I just wanted to punch her right in the face and leave). At one point in time she looked at me and said, "Well, I already went over this with you once so you should obviously be taking notes." This was prime punching-in-the-face time. But I held back. Anyways that sucked. . . .I will be having a conversation with my supervisor tomorrow morning.Moving on. Awesome things that have been happening lately:
Rhode Island!! Zach and I headed North to visit the Grandparents. We love them because they are awesome. Here are some lovely pictures.
Zach made a delicious meal for six! He just wanted to. So we invited the Hedges and the McNeals and Zach made delicious yummies. Apple butter glazed pork chops with homemade mashed potatoes, sauteed zucchini and squash, salad, and dinner rolls. So delicious.
CAMPING!!!! Last weekend Zach and I headed to Bass River State Forest for camping! Rae and Kevin were already there with the tents all setup. It was sooooo fun. The weekend was full of bocce ball, Rook (a card game), delicious food, wonderful weather, and laughing. Lots of laughing. It was so nice to be in the middle of a forest with no city noise or yuppy people. Noteworthy items: --We got kicked out of the lake because apparently we're not aloud to swim after Labor Day Weekend (water dragons?) --Zach is able to climb up trees real fast and with little effort. --Rae and I are amazing camper-cooks. -- We also are really good at reading for long periods of time while sitting right next to one another while Zach and Kevin hurl hatchets at trees. --Smores are in fact delicious over charcoal grills. --We also were not aloud to build a fire because it hadn't rained in a while. --Bocce ball and Rook are both very good games. --Zach can juggle bocce balls (in case you were wondering). Collage time.
almost forgot the sweet painting/birthday gift I made for Rae!
For some time I’ve been contemplating writing a guest spot for my Wife’s blog. I thought since she gives the broad strokes of what’s been going on in NJ, I’d set forth to create a window into the smaller, less visible aspects of our life. While such a view is by nature narrower, it offers a more nuanced perspective. So I hope it will sketch in some of the details and display more of our unique character.
This first guest spot is a poem I wrote. I was reading some essays by Eugene Peterson from his book Subversive Spirituality. He’s a well known pastor and scholar and he utilizes a lot of classic literature and poetry to give depth to his writing. I thought I would try to explore my own artistic faculties in preparation for this next academic year. So this is a first attempt and may expose me as a novice poet.
Some clarifications I bet my wife would feel better if I included. First, I apologize for the expletive in the first line. Second, she defended the odor of the couch, which I could not debate since my nose is mostly ornamental. On its best day it can barely be bothered to be breathed through, much less smell anything with any reliability. So, I know I couldn’t out smell Kaley on the smellingest day of my life. Third, the stains are nearly invisible and can only be seen by the trained observer. All this is just to say, please, no one send us a new couch, because this one really isn’t all that shabby, although I assure you many will find it rather ugly in person.
The Golden Years of My Furniture
By Zach Grant
Yellow couch you look like shit
Like Big Bird ate dayglow threadbare mustard
My cat retched up tarry bile on you
The stains scrubbed into a rusty tint
Chronicling “cheechy-mon’s” digestive misfortunes
You smell like you look
I’d end you with fire by the tracks
But my wife loves you
And so do I
